As an alcohol enthusiast, my life is often a mundane, sickening cycle of going to a boring AF office so that I can afford food and booze and then heading home to have said booze. And then I start wondering what my life could have been if I actually had an interesting job. And by interesting, I meant involving alcohol, of course.
Brew master: In a nutshell, they’re artists who create beer. They’re researchers with no lab coat (but with an invisible cape, of course) and they come up with recipes that are meant to entice craft beer lovers instantly. The best part? You get paid to taste beer all day. Sigh, some people have it all.
Sommelier: The job is as fancy as the name sounds, and it involves meeting clientele and recommend fine wines. Got a bit of a foodie in you? Crank it up a notch by suggesting best gourmet food to go with a particular range of wines. Life would be so perfect. You just need to know everything from grape varieties to the aging process and packaging and have a clean palette.
Professional Sniffer: Your job may sound like it’s made for a doggo, but it’s very very real. If your nosey services (not the business you do, Indian aunties) are crazy good, and if it can pick up the different scents (however faint they may be) that the company intended for the drink, the liquor industry needs you. Still not believable? Look up Nancy Fraley, whose business card legit describes her as providing ‘nosing services’.
Mixologist: This is the most obvious option. But all those who intend to become a mixologist so that they can drink expensive alcohol all the time, you will be unpleasantly surprised to see that you aren’t supposed to be drunk while you do your job. Don’t whine now, because you get lots of free booze once you wrap up at work. Also, imagine waking up to develop new cocktail recipes? Those people must know what it feels like to wake up happy.
Beer Insurer: All of you, who regret being stuck in the time machine of corporate life, here’s a not so boring insurer job for you. Your job is to effectively insure spoiled alcohol, contaminated products and leaky barrels so that the amount it takes to handle the disaster doesn’t kill the distillery. The biggest advantage is that all your clients are breweries, so we’re sure great beer’s going to be a part of every meeting. Wouldn’t that be cool?
